After discussing the “food chain" with my fifth grade class, I told them their weekend homework was to write a sentence showing they understood the meaning of the term.
On Monday morning, one student handed this in: “Burger King is my favorite food chain."
A mother and her young son returned home from the grocery store. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them is the seal if broken. I'm looking for the seal."
A lonely stranger went into a deserted restaurant and ordered the breakfast special. When his order arrived, he looked up at the waitress and asked, “How about a kind word?" The waitress leaned over and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat."
What’s the Matter with Me?
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left
ear and a banana in his right ear.
Man: "What's the matter with me?"
Doctor: "You're not eating properly."
Incredibly Dangerous Food
A hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses.
He said, "the crap that we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is horrible. Fizzy drinks eat your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables are now "iffy" because of fertilisers and pesticides ... and none of us seem to realize the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous, and we all have, or will (likely), eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row raised her hand, stood up and said, "Wedding cake."