Air Force One
The story goes that Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base "Requesting Radar". "What is you position?" asked ATC "You got radar you find us" Air Force One replied. After a few minutes ATC announced "Air Force One we're changing frequency" "What frequency are you changing to?" asked Air Force One "You've got 720 channels - you find us!" ATC replied.
At The Military Enlistment Office
He is asked:
"What would you like to be?"
He responds:"A pilot."
So they decide to help the guy and send him to study flying, but he fails. And he comes to the military enlistment office again:
"Sorry, but you can't be a pilot any more. Select another variant."
The guy thinks and speaks:
"So I want to be in the air defence."
"Why air defence?"
"If I can’t fly, then nobody will fly!"
Flying To Boston
The clerk said, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.
Landing In A Field
A pilot has engine trouble and lands in a field. As he walks around the plane to check out the problem, he hears a voice behind him say, "You have a clogged fuel line." Looking around, he sees no one, except a cow. Startled out of his wits, he runs across the field to the farmer's house and pounds on the door. When the farmer appears at the door, the out-of-breath pilot stammers that his cow has just talked--and even tried to explain what was wrong with the airplane.
The farmer drawled, "Was it a brown cow?" "Yes." "Did it have a white patch on its forehead?" "Yes, yes, that's the one." "OK, that's Flossie. Don't pay no attention to her. She doesn't know nothin' about aeroplanes."
Twin Engine Aircraft
A friend of mine was learning how to fly (a plane, obviously) and asked his instructor the safety benefits of a twin engine aircraft.
His reply:- If one engine fails, the other takes you to the scene of the accident.
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