A man goes to his local bank and asks for a loan to start a chicken farm. The loan official asks him what exactly the loan is for-it is to buy new chicks. The loan is okayed but a week later the man is back, seeking another loan to buy new chicks. The loan officer asks"What happened to the first batch of chicks?", to which the man replies, "I don't know! I can't figure out if I'm planting them too close together or too far apart" .
As mall farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . ‘Weren’t you afraid?’ one of the workers asked the boy.
‘Not at all,’ the boy replied , ‘I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.’
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived in the farm nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile, "by the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."
Politicians on a Farm
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."