Your 5 Jokes for September 11, 2012: Exercise Jokes

It’s Gonna Work This Time

I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.

Nowaday’s Exercise

These days many people get their exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, dodging responsibilities, bending the rules, running down everything, circulating rumors, passing the buck, stirring up trouble, shooting the bull, digging up dirt, slinging mud, throwing their weight around, beating the system, and pushing their luck.


A man saw a lady at my gym... She was on the stationary bike, wearing a helmet. He wanted to do something to mess with her. He started looking around. He went to the pool, and he grabbed the life preserver ring off the wall. That ring thing he put around his head, then he got on the rowing machine next to her.

The Fitness Session

Not that you are all SENIORS?!?!?! Yet! I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.


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