Your 5 Jokes for April 29, 2013: Evening Jokes

Cold Winter Evening

A wife send her husband an SMS in a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".

The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".

Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely busted now".


Going Out

My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.

One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her.

"Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed.

His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.


Late

Judith meets Isaac at a dance and they seem to hit it off quite nicely – so much so that they agree to go out for a meal the following night. Isaac says he will pick her up at her house at 8pm.

The following evening, Judith spends quality time getting herself ready for what she hopes will be the start of a new romance. Finally, she is ready. She walks over to the mirror and looks at herself. What she sees is an attractive, sexy, well made-up young woman, wearing a low-cut but very chic evening dress, matching satin shoes, and the vintage pearl necklace and matching ear-rings her darling gave her. She is pleased with what she sees and sits down to wait for Isaac.

But she is very disappointed when 8pm arrives and there’s no sign of him. She continues to wait in hope, but there’s still no Isaac. At 9.30pm, Judith gives up. Crying, she runs upstairs to the bathroom and roughly wipes off all her make-up, smudging her lipstick over her mouth. But she doesn’t care. She goes into her bedroom, changes out of her lovely dress and puts on her dressing gown. Finally, she takes off her shoes, puts on her slippers and goes downstairs to watch TV.

But as soon as she sits down, the doorbell rings. When Judith opens it, there stands Isaac with a bunch of flowers in his hand. He looks at Judith with a worried look on his face and says to her, "Judith, what’s going on? I’m nearly two hours late, …. and you’re still not ready?"


Evening Gown

Mrs Jones invited her husband to attend a mannequin show. An elegant evening gown, worn by a pretty girl, attracted her attention. Dear, "That would look nice at our party next week" she noted, hoping he would buy the dress. "Yes," agreed Mr Jones "Why not invite her?"


Racket

A group of loud and rowdy drunks were making a racket in the street.

It was the wee small hours of the morning and the lady of the house flung open a window and shouted at them to keep quiet.

"Is this where Frank lives?" one of the drunks asked.

"Yes, it is," the woman replied.

"Well then," said the drunk, "Could you come and pick him out so the rest of us can go home?"

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