After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!
Teacher to sleepy student:
Who invented Steam Engine.?
Student: What sir?
Teacher: Yes its correct. JAMES WATT.
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".
Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".
An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".
One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"
Somebody Has Stolen My Engine
A blonde woman is driving a Porsche and she sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road.
She stops to ask what's wrong.
The owner of the broken Porsche said, 'I just had a look under the hood, and while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.'
The other said, 'Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back of my Porsche.'
A friend of mine was learning how to fly (a plane, obviously) and asked his instructor the safety benefits of a twin engine aircraft.
His reply:- If one engine fails, the other takes you to the scene of the accident.