A Cow Eating Grass
All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dover's class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?"
Tommy said, "A cow eating grass."
"Ok, where's the grass?"
"The cow ate it all."
"Ok, where's the cow?"
"It went to go look for more grass."
I Don’t Like Your Friend
There were these two cannibals having their tea. One said to the other, 'I don't like your friend.'
The other one said, 'Well put him to one side and just eat the greens.'
This blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Oh, six," she said. “I could never eat twelve pieces."
A young boy saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one meal. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. The old man began to eat, but his wife just sat watching. The young boy decided to ask them if he could buy them another meal. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young boy then asked the wife if she was going to eat. She replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth."
The Lucky Cat
My sister came running in from the kitchen. She said, 'Dad, there's a black cat out there.',
My dad said, 'So what? Black cats are lucky.'
My sister said, 'This one is. It's just eaten your lunch.'