Your 5 Jokes for May 02, 2013: Directions Jokes

Gigantic

A man was new in town and caught the flu, so he went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him three prescriptions. Before the man left the doctor's office, he asked for directions to the nearest pharmacy. The doctor said, "Go six blocks down and you will see a pharmacy on the left hand side."

The man followed the doctor's directions and had no trouble finding the pharmacy. As he got out of his car, he noticed a gigantic sign which read: "The Giant Pharmacy where you get more for your money."

He walked in and gave the pharmacist the three prescriptions. When his name was called, he noticed that the clerk placed a gigantic container of antibiotics on the counter, then had trouble picking up a huge bottle of cough syrup.

The man became alarmed, and before the clerk walked away to bring the third prescription, he yelled "Excuse me sir... the injections... I don't want them!!"


In The Middle Of A Busy Street

A lady standing in the middle of a busy street asked a traffic constable: “Can you guide me how to go to the city hospital?"

Constable: “Lady, just keep standing here and you will be there in no time."


Petit Jean

More than thirty years ago when I first moved to Memphis TN in the United States, I traveled over to the state of Arkansas in search of an antique automobile museum which I was told was located in a public park named Petit Jean State Park.

I stopped at a rural grocery store to ask directions and, pronouncing the place name in my very best Louisiana Cajun French, asked for directions to Petit Jean.

The proprietor told me that he had never heard of any such place. I then explained that it was the location of an antique automobile museum to which he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean PETTY GENE!" and proceeded to give me explicit directions.


The Native American

A Native American takes a trip to New York. He gets lost and asks a traffic cop for directions. The cop points him the way then says, ‘And how are you enjoying our fine city?’

The Native American says, ‘It’s great. And how are you enjoying our fine country?’


What Color Is Your House

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home.The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past a red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox.As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, "What color is your house?"The woman paused a second, then said, "Hold on. I'll go check."