- Hi. How are you?
- Everything is fine. Just a bit frustrated. Yesterday had a quarrel with my wife.
- We can’t agree where to spend the vacation. I want to go to Thailand... and she wants to go with me.
Wife returns home from vacation.
- I was away for 6 weeks! And now when I come home, what do I see! You don't care! You have nothing to say! Don't you have at least one word for me after I was away for 6 weeks!
- Sure, I have…
- Which word?
Related jokes: Vacation jokes
- Hi. I've heard you got married. So how is it?
- Smoking is forbidden, hunting is forbidden, watching football is forbidden...
- So you probably regret that you’ve got married.
- Complaining is also forbidden...
The Lost Husband
- Please, help. My husband is lost. Here is his photo and special peculiarities... When you find him, tell him that my mother decided not to come!
When the wife doesn't look in his direction, the husband tries to put the meal from his plate to the dog's plate.
Wife: You don't want to give your meal to the dog, do you?
Husband: Of course not, darling, just to exchange.