A Vow Of Silence
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well, the head monk replied, I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Blocking The Way
A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.
Santa : “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
Banta : “Why complain?, You’re still getting the same service!"
My wife doesn’t complain often, but once she was having a old-fashioned “heart-to-heart" with me and said, “Hon, you never listen to me. Every time I try to talk to you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a few seconds.
Please promise me you’ll try to work on that."
The last thing I remember was replying, “I’m sorry, what was that you were saying?"
A few years ago a friend was trying unsuccessfully to get some information on a Railway Express shipment he had sent to a small town. In his third letter to the station agent, John Smith, he wrote: "If I do not hear from you on this, I shall report you to your superior."
Back came a letter with the letterhead: "John Smith, Railway Express Agent / Smith's Laundromat / Smith's Clothing and Novelties / John Smith - Ford Dealer."
Mr. Smith began his letter,
I have no superiors and damn few equals. . . ."