Your 5 Jokes for February 16, 2014: Coma Jokes

Giving Up

As I looked at my wife in her coma, I said to the doctor, 'That's it. Turn off the machine, I've given up hope'.

'Sir', he replied 'Your wife has been in that coma for 6 minutes'.


A bloke wakes up in hospital after a car accident. He helps himself to some raisins from a bowl, just as his wife comes in.

"Oh babe you're awake! I was so worried!" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine, love" he says. "Why didn't you get me grapes? You know I like grapes."

"I did" she says, "you've been in a coma for a year."

Hospital Radio

Apparently, a girl woke up from a coma to the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt, when she heard it on the hospital radio.

It was a beautiful sight until she opened her eyes, sat forward and screamed,

"Turn that sh*t off."

The Civil Servant

A civil servant is badly hurt, after falling down the stairs at city hall. He is taken to the hospital where he remains in a coma for several days.

Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him, "My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all, you will never be able to work again."

"Okay," muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"

What He Thinks

Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck!


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