Your 5 Jokes for November 17, 2013: Coke Jokes

Best Taste

A man notices a woman sucking on the bottom of a Coke can. Curious, he asks her what she's doing.

"Don't you know! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom."


Calories

Two girls decided to split a can of Diet Coke. One girl opened the can, and poured half the contents into her own glass, and half into her friend's glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side. "'Only one calorie per can'," she read aloud. "Hmm," murmured the other blonde. "I wonder which glass has the calorie?"


Get Me Another Coke

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a Coke before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a Coke. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another Coke before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another Coke and slams it down next to him. He finishes that Coke and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another Coke, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink Coke and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, couch potato, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."


Simple Order

I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke, please." Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Fanta, and Sprite."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked the snackbar clerk at a movie theatre for a "dark, carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, "Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?"


The Wrong Way

Peter, a Coca Cola salesman, returns home from his assignment in Jordan very disappointed. He immediately goes to see his boss.

"So Peter," asks his boss, "why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

"When I got sent to Jordan to increase our Coca Cola sales," replies Peter, "I was confident that I would be able to succeed even though I couldn’t speak Arabic."

"So what did you do to get round the language problem?" asks his boss.

"I decided to convey our message to the Arabs via a Picture Poster campaign," replies Peter, "and after a week of effort, I came up with the Jordanian Poster. Although having no text on it, this Poster was able to strongly put across our message using just three high definition images. These images, when viewed sequentially, clearly told the Coca Cola story."

"So what were these three images, Peter?" asks his boss.

"The left hand picture - the first image," replies Peter, "shows a man lying in the hot desert sand, totally exhausted and close to fainting. The middle picture - the second image, shows the man drinking Coca Cola. And the right hand picture - the third image, shows the man totally refreshed and happy."

"So what did you then do?" asks the boss.

"We printed tens of thousands of the posters," replies Peter, "and got them pasted up all over Jordan."

"That should have worked very well for us," says the boss. "So what went wrong, Peter?"

"I didn’t realize," replies Peter, "that Arabs read from right to left. So the pictures gave the totally opposite message to the one I planned."