5 Coffee Jokes

Dirt in the Coffee

A customer ordered some coffee in a cafe. The waitress arrived with the coffee and placed it on the table. After a few moments, the customer called for the waitress "Waitress," he said, "there's dirt in my coffee!". "That's not surprising, sir, replied the waitress, "It was ground only half an hour ago."

No Cream

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream... how about with no milk?"

Six Cups

How many cups of coffee will this hold?" the man asked as he placed a large thermos on the lunchroom counter.

“Six cups," advised the waitress.

“Fine," replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream

The Cup Holder

A tech support employee once received a call from a disgruntled lady who had purchase one of their PCs.

"The cup holder on my computer broke! I just got some coffee and put it in the cup holder and then it broke, and the coffee spilled all over me! I want a replacement!"

The employee was a little confused and didn't know what to say. He finally asked her to describe the cup holder to him...he'd never heard of his company selling in-computer cup holders.

So the lady went on to describe the cup holder to him. "Well, it pops out of the little box when I push a button, and it has 40x written on it..."

What Is This Supposed To Be?

Customer: Waiter, is this supposed to be coffee or tea?

Waiter: What does it taste like?

Customer: It tastes like gasoline!

Waiter: Well, sir, that would be the coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine.

Related Collections

Café jokes
Dinner jokes
Eating jokes
Food jokes
Milk jokes
Restaurant jokes
Tea jokes


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