Convenience Store Clerk
At the end of my first day working at a 24-hour convenience store, a customer walked in and asked, "Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?"
"Yes," I answered, puzzled at the question.
"Well, then," he continued as he walked out, "why are there locks on the doors?"
A guy goes into the store and asks the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you: if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German sausage, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya??"
The clerk says "Well, no..."
With deep self righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, alright then, why the HELL did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"
The clerk says "Because this is a hardware store."
The Antique Shop
The woman was always frequenting small antique shops, but regardless of what she saw there, she always complained about something. The quality was poor, the prices too high, or the selection was limited.
The shop clerk took it in stride, but one day, while ranting and raving, she yelled at the clerk, "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?"
The clerk smiled and replied, "Possibly, because we're too polite."
The Fire Extinguisher
I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood. Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the customer service counter.
"Please help," I gasped. "My car's on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!"
Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."
A woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always happens, and paid the fine.
So the police clerk issued her a receipt for her payment of fine. The lady annoyed at her defeat in the court asked him curtly, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Keep it," the clerk advised politely. "When you get three of them, you get a bicycle, ma'am!"