An Essay About A Match
Teacher: Students, you have forty minutes to write an essay on a soccer match.
Richard: (After two minutes) Here's my paper, sir.
Teacher: What did you manage to write so quickly?
Richard: Match called off due to rain.
A teacher arranged her young students into a circle. She then went around the circle and asked each one a question.
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh ... it goes ... 'click!'"
Related jokes: Animal jokes
Latitudes And Longitudes
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
The Spit Ball
Teacher: Whoever answers this question can go home now one hour early.
Student: Accidentally shoots a spit ball at his teacher
Teacher: Who shot that spit ball?
Student: I did by mistake. See you tomorrow.
The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Rodney replied, "My mistake. Actually, she lives in Ohio."