I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill."I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy."But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned."I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."
A burglar went to the bank and pointed a gun on the cashier and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY."
The burglar answered, "Don't change the *subject*!"
The bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cashier after learning the combination to
the safe and had herded the other employees into a separate room under guard. After they rifled the safe and were about to leave, the cashier made desperate pleading noises through the gag. Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosed the gag. "Please," whispered the cashier, "take the books, too. I'm $70 short."
Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job.
One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"I dont know", replies the stupid cashier.
The woman leaves unsatisfied.
THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!"
"10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier.
The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents ma'am"
"Really?, are they fresh?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?"
So the cashier memorizes "Yes, very fresh"
The next day, another woman comes and says "Hey sonny, now much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents" He replies.
"Are they fresh?"
"Should I buy them?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss having seen this goes to scream at him again "YOU MORON, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT, YOU HAVE TO SAY 'If you dont, somebody else will' OK?"
"OK, gotcha boss"
So the next day, the little shop gets robbed by a guy with a gun. He goes up to the cash register and screams "HEY, how much money is in that cash register?" "10 cents sir"
"WHAT? ARE YOU BEING FRESH TO ME?"
"Yes, very fresh sir"
"SHOULD I SHOOT YOU?"
"If you dont, somebody else will"
The Bank Robber
Paddy decided to rob a bank. He got all the gear together - stocking mask, sawn-off shotgun, getaway car and so on - but he realised his accent would mark him out as Irish, so he took elocution lessons for almost a year until he could finally pass as an Englishman.
On the day of the robbery, he donned his mask, rushed into the bank and said, "I say there, I'm terribly sorry but this is a robbery. Be a good chap and fill this sack with lots of lovely lolly."
The cashier said, "you're Irish aren't you?"
Paddy was astonished. "How the divil did ye figure dat out?" he asked.
The cashier replied, "it was easy, you've sawn the wrong end off your shotgun!"