Your 5 Jokes for March 11, 2012: Candy Jokes


Little Johnny was sitting on a bench and had 7 candy-bars next to him and an old man came and sat next to him and says "Son, did you know that too much candy can Rot your teeth, make you fat, and give you acne?" and Little Johnny says "No sir, but my grandfather lived to be 106!" and the old man goes "Oh is that so? did HE eat 7 candy-bars a day?" and little Johnny says. "Well no sir, but he minded his own damn business!"


Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper.

"No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"

Chocolate And Lollipops

A grandson asked his miserly grandpa to buy him a chocolate. So next time when grandpa visited his grandson, the latter asked:

- Grandpa, where is my chocolate?

Grandpa thought for a second and answered:

- Sorry grandson, there were no chocolates in the shop, only lollipops.

Next time the situation repeated. Finally, when grandpa once again answered that there were only lollipops in the shop, grandson said:

- Ok. Buy me a lollipop then.

Grandpa thought for a second and said:

- Remember, grandson, while your grandpa is still alive, you will eat only chocolates.


One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky," in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more. "Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked. "Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the Rocky 2. I'll be back three more times tonight, too."


A Girl went up to her mother and asked,

"Mum, is Amsterdam a swear word?"

"No, why?" She asked.

"Is Rotterdam a swear word?" she asked.

"No, why?" her mother repeated.

"Well, I heard little sister talking behind my back after I showed her my lollipop, and she said
'I hope that that lollipop rot her damn teeth!'"

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Chocolate jokes
Dinner jokes
Eating jokes
Food jokes
Pizza jokes
Restaurant jokes
Vegetable jokes