Your 5 Jokes for June 01, 2012: Businessman Jokes

Businessmen And The Crisis

Two businessmen are talking about the global financial crisis:

- I can not sleep well because of this global financial crisis!

- Well, I sleep like a baby!

- Really?

- Yes, I wake up each hour and cry!

Businessmen at Dinner

Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it.

"It's a business expense," said one.

"I'll pay," said the second. "I'm on cost plus."

"Let me have it," argued the third. "I'm filing for bankruptcy next week."


The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

Successful Businessman

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

“I welcome you into the family," said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation."

The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise."

“I see." replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

“I hate office work," said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk."

“Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?"

“Easy," said the son-in-law. “Buy me out."

World War 2

The war begins. A businessman is walking back and forth in anxiety:

- There is so much to do! I need to send the wife and kids to United States, sell my business, transfer the money to Switzerland, and after that I need to find a way to get to England myself…

One of his employees, who stands nearby, says:

- I know what you mean... I have the same problems....

- Don't make me laugh! What are your problems ?!!! Take the rifle and go to the front!