An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
An American was boasting to O'Leary that back in the US, they can erect skyscrapers in 4 weeks.
O'Leary replied that in Ireland they can start a row of houses in the morning and on the way home from work the bailiffs will be putting the tenants out for being behind with the rent.
Kicking The Ball High
Two wives were boasting of their husband's prowess at football. Said one, "Once my husband kicked the ball so high that it took four hours for it to fall back to the earth."
"What of that," retorted the other. "Once my husband kicked it so hard that it took it four days to return to earth. With it there was a note reading: If this ball is again kicked upto the moon, it will not be returned."
Thirty Years After
Once two friends were boasting about themselves. Santa Singh: Once my granfather's wrist- watch fell in the well. When it was taken out after thirty years it was still running.
Banta Singh: So what's great about it! Once my grandfather himself fell into the well. When he taken out afer thirty years he was still alive.
Santa Singh: How can it be possible. What was he doing in the well for thirty years?
Banta Singh: Why not! He was winding your granfather's wrist-watch.
A Gurkha guard boasts to other, "You know, when I was small, that Victoria Tower fell down upon me."
So the second Gurkha guard inquired, "Hey why? Did it kill you then?"
The puzzled first one says, "I don't remember, I was too young then."