The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions."Ever have an accident?""Nope, nary a one.""None? You've never had any accidents.""Nope. Ain't never had one. Never.""Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?""Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
A drunkard walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.
He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.
"I'm very worried about my little boy's nailbiting habit," a woman said to her doctor.
"Nailbiting is very common in youngsters," said the doctor.
"What! Six inch rusty ones?"
Policeman Bitten By A Dog
A policeman bitten by a dog came for treatment to the Safdarjang Hospital. He asked the pharmacist, "Brother give me medicine for dog bite."
The pharmacist asked him, "How did a dog bite a policeman?"
The constable replied, "To tell you the truth, I was not wearing my uniform at the time."
The Alligator Bite
Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. "Mama!" yelled the boy. "A gator jus' bit off mah foot!" "Which one?" called his mother from inside the cabin. "How the hell should Ah know?!" he shrieked. "They all look alike to me!"