5 Beggar Jokes

The Beggar At The Restaurant

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at the expensive Marriot Hotel yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Some one gave me a $100 note yesterday.I went to Marriot and ordered dinner worth $100,And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.The Hotel manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.

I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

Buying a Car

One day a rich famous man went to buy a sport car from a dealership. The price of the car was $80000 and the man had only $79998 to pay.

The sales associate insisted that the price is firm and it has to be $80000.

The man came out of the store and looked around and saw a poor man begging for help. He went toward him and introduced himself and asked if he is kind enough to lend him $2. The poor man asked the reason. He replied that he is willing to buy a car. The poor man though for a moment and gave the man $4 and said: Please buy one for me too.


A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked "No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping and hair appointments ..."

Stretching on a Park Bench

A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After awhile a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello, Luv, how about us going for a walk together?"
"How dare you!" said the woman, startled.

"Well, then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?"

The Rich Beggar

Beggar 1: Hey Yaar! You have a new Armani Suit. How?

Beggar 2: Actually, I have now become an international consultant.

Beggar 1: Wow!

Beggar 2: I am now advising over 50 nations how to beg from other nations, so that their economies can flourish. After US, now Britain, France, Sweden and many other countries are seeking me out. Even IMF and WORLD BANK have asked me to lend them my Golden Begging Bowl.

Beggar 1: Golden Begging Bowl ! But you never had one.

Beggar 2: It is the same old unshapely Aluminium bowl, which that lady had thrown at me, but since it has helped so many people get so much of money in this time of recession, it is now called Golden Bowl. And I charge for lending it to others.

Beggar 1: Cool yaar ! That’s great, how much do you earn?

Beggar 2: $5 for every 5 minutes. (Minimum time : 30 days).

Beggar 1: So you are rolling in wealth.

Beggar 2: Yes, and travelling in a Rolls Royce Car or Aircraft. Bye, time for my flight !