Your 5 Jokes for September 08, 2012: Beard Jokes

Benny’s Beard

In the mid-sixties, there was a hippy named Benny in San Francisco. Benny was real hip, but he just couldn't grow a beard like the rest of the flower child guys in Haight-Ashbury (Hashbury). One day Benny met up with a Gypsy Lady who liked him enough to grant him a wish, so, naturally, Benny wished for a beard. Gypsy Lady granted the wish but warned Benny to ALWAYS wear the beard, never cut it off. Well, the years went by, the flower children aged, the hippy movement sorta died out, Benny went on to a career as a successful financial adviser. Benny decided the beard no longer fit his image so, ignoring the Gypsy Lady's warnings, he shaved it off. **POOF** Benny disintegrated into a pile of ashes, the janitor swept him up and deposited him in a jar.

Moral of the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.


Eyeballs

Once a rich man tells a doctor there is a war between America and Japan I don’t want to fight for this war! Please can you remove my eyeballs?

Doctor: Yes I can remove your Eyeballs. Man: Thank You. Then the doctor keeps the eyeballs in a shelf. Once a dog comes to the clinic and breaks the shelf and removes an eyeball then the doctor sees one eyeball is missing! Then he makes a muddy eyeball and keeps it in the shelf. A few months later the man bees back And tells the doctor put my eyeballs back to me. He puts both the eyeballs back to him. A few months later the man sees half side beard is growing half side grass and flowers are growing.


Gambling

'I want you to help me stop my son gambling.' an anxious father said to his boy's principal.' I don't know where he gets it from, but it's bet, bet, bet.'

'Leave it to me,' said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy's father.' I think I've cured him,' he said.

'How?'

'Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said,' I bet that's a false beard,' How much? I said, and he said $5'

'What happened? ' asked the father.

'Well he tugged my beard which is quite natural and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson!'

'No, it won't,' said the father'

He bet me $10 on Monday that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!'


Our Teacher

Fred: Our teacher is very musical you know.

Harry: Musical? Mr Jenkinson?

Fred: Yes. He's always fiddling with his beard.


Waking Up The Passenger

Bill is travelling by train. He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 10 dollars to wake him up when his station comes. This guy is a barber. He feels that for 10 dollars Bill deserves more. So, when Bill falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard. When the station arrives, he wakes up Bill and sends him home. Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror. His wife asks, "What's the matter?" "The cheat on the train takes my 10 dollars and wakes up someone else!"