Moving To The Basement
When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the basement. Then I realized how convenient it was to get him to the breakfast table. Before, I used to stand at the bottom of the staircase and scream his name. Now all I had to do was flick the basement light off and on, and he was here.
One morning I flicked the switch, and nothing happened. I did it several more times. "I'm on my way," my son called up. "You didn't have to yell."
One Day In The Basement
Three men walk into a café. The café keeper tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free drinks forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a d*mp in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven. He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.
A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there. "That old fool," she chuckled. "I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!"
An Alabama man was looking for a place to live, but wasn't having much success. Finally he came upon a farm house, figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked the farmer if he had a room for rent.
The farmer said the only place he had left was the outhouse and that he was welcome to rent it.
The man was grateful and moved in right away.
The next day the farmer saw 2 T.V. antennas on top of the outhouse and was bewildered, so he knocked on the door to ask about the extra antenna.
The man said, "Well, I sublet the basement to a guy from Louisiana."
When the air raid siren went off in London during World War II, Hannah rushed down the stairs toward the basement of their apartment block. Rowan was much slower so she stopped and shouted back up the stairs, "Come on, Rowan, get moving will you?"
Rowan shouted down to her, "Wait a minute, Hannah. I’m looking for my teeth."
"Never mind your silly teeth, Rowan," Hannah shouted back, "what do you think they’ll drop on us – smoked salmon bagels?"