A barber nicked a customer rather badly while giving him a shave. Hoping to make amends, the barber asked, "Do you want your head wrapped in a towel?" "No thanks," replied the customer. I'll carry it home under my arm!"
A Tie for a Parade
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm goin' to buy a tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
A Tony Curtis haircut
Johnny wanted to look suave for the local dance so he slipped into Taffy Lloyd's barber shop.
"I want a Tony Curtis haircut."
So Taffy started trimming around the back with the clippers. Then he started going higher and higher with them till Johnny started to get a bit worried. But like most barbers, this one had verbal diarrhoea,and was yapping non stop about movies and movie stars.
"Yeah, I like Tony Curtis too," as he trimmed up and over Johnny's ears. "Wasn't he great in 'The King and I'?"
Leaving Without Paying The Barber
A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing.
“Officer," he asks, have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?"
“No I haven’t. What’s the problem?"
“The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!"
“Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asks.
“Well, yes," the barber replies. “He’s carrying one of his ears in his left hand."
As I am getting older I seem to be loosing my hair. When I went last week to the barber I joked with him that he keeps on going up in price when I have less to cut! He replied, “I should charge you double for all the time it takes me to find your hair!"