Your 5 Jokes for March 30, 2012: Bakery Jokes

Holes In Doughnuts

There was a Scottish baker who tried to economize by making the holes in his doughnuts bigger.

He soon gave it up, though. The bigger the hole was the more dough he had to put round it.


Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop-N-Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-serve. Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

The Cake On The Counter

On her first day in the bakery shop, my friend's first customer ordered one of the cakes on the counter. He asked if they were fresh, and Josee assured him they were. After she made the sale, Josee went to the back room to confirm with her boss that she had charged the right amount for the cake on the counter. "What cake on the counter?" her boss asked. That's when they realized Josee had just sold a $20 plastic display cake.

The Origins Of Food

Sarah Kay was studying the origins of foods in kindergarten.

One day, she and her mother were walking through the grocery store discussing what ingredients went into various products.

Sarah Kay said, “Mutton comes from sheep and beef comes from cows." Then she asked, “How DO they get the mutton from the sheep, Mommy?"

Her mother felt that the truth was the only way to go, so she explained that they kill the animal to eat its meat.

Horrified, Sarah Kay went past shelves staring at the meat and saying, “They KILLED a cow to get THIS?" She could not believe it, and her little heart was broken.

Then, they went to the bakery where Sarah Kay began to check out the various donuts and goodies. She noticed a beautiful white cake and asked, “Mommy, what is this cake called?"

Her mother replied, “It’s an angelfood cake, honey."

Immediately Sarah Kay’s eyes filled with big tears and she wailed, “You mean they KILLED an ANGEL to make this?"

What Would You Like?

A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" He answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish."Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin."


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