An American and a Russian were arguing about which had the more perfect democracy.
'We have absolute democracy,' says the American. 'If I want to, I can go to the White House and shout "Remove Nixon!"'
'Ha!' replies the Russian. 'What's so special about that. If I want to, I too can go to the Kremlin and shout "Remove Nixon!"'
Related jokes: Political jokes
She Goes Historical
‘I can’t take it anymore,’ says a man to his friend. ‘It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!’ ‘Don’t you mean ‘hysterical’?’ says his friend. ‘No, I mean historical,’ replies the man.
‘Every argument we have, she’ll go, “I still remember that time when you…"’
Related jokes: History jokes
The Biggest Lie
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Brezhnev: "Of course, the Soviets are better! The Soviet soldier first thinks, only then hits!
Kadar: "No, certainly not! The Hungarian is better, he hits and only thinks afterwards!"
Brezhnev asks the Soviets soldier...
Brezhnev: "Sergei, that's comrade Kadar, president of Hungary, hit him!"
The Soviet soldier starts thinking...
Soviet soldier: "No, I could never hit a comrade!"
Then, the Hungarian soldier enters the test...
Kadar: "Laszlo, hit Brezhnev as hard as you can!"
The Hungarian sodlier blasts him with his fist, Brezhnev falls on his back...
The Hungarian soldier is ordered to leave...
But he just stops at the door and starts thinking...
Then Kadar despairs...
Kadar: "You stupid! You will ruin my bet! What are you thinking?"
Hungarian soldier: "I was thinking I should also kick him..."
Your Wife’s Mind
To which the man replied, "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 30 years."
Related jokes: Wife jokes