Your 5 Jokes for March 14, 2012: Argument Jokes

Political Argument

An American and a Russian were arguing about which had the more perfect democracy.

'We have absolute democracy,' says the American. 'If I want to, I can go to the White House and shout "Remove Nixon!"'

'Ha!' replies the Russian. 'What's so special about that. If I want to, I too can go to the Kremlin and shout "Remove Nixon!"'

Related jokes: Political jokes

She Goes Historical

‘I can’t take it anymore,’ says a man to his friend. ‘It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!’ ‘Don’t you mean ‘hysterical’?’ says his friend. ‘No, I mean historical,’ replies the man.

‘Every argument we have, she’ll go, “I still remember that time when you…"’

Related jokes: History jokes

The Biggest Lie

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Related jokes: Lies jokes - Liar jokes

Thinking Soldiers

Hungarian communist president, Janos Kadar and Soviet president Leonid Brezhnev are arguing about which country has better soldiers? Hungary or the Soviet Union?

Brezhnev: "Of course, the Soviets are better! The Soviet soldier first thinks, only then hits!

Kadar: "No, certainly not! The Hungarian is better, he hits and only thinks afterwards!"

Then, to settle the problem, the two commy leaders make a bet and a Soviet and a Hungarian soldier are brought for a test.

Brezhnev asks the Soviets soldier...

Brezhnev: "Sergei, that's comrade Kadar, president of Hungary, hit him!"

The Soviet soldier starts thinking...

Soviet soldier: "No, I could never hit a comrade!"

Then, the Hungarian soldier enters the test...

Kadar: "Laszlo, hit Brezhnev as hard as you can!"

The Hungarian sodlier blasts him with his fist, Brezhnev falls on his back...

The Hungarian soldier is ordered to leave...

But he just stops at the door and starts thinking...

Then Kadar despairs...

Kadar: "You stupid! You will ruin my bet! What are you thinking?"

Hungarian soldier: "I was thinking I should also kick him..."

Related jokes: Army jokes - Military jokes - Soldier jokes

Your Wife’s Mind

A man took his wife to the doctor's. After he had examined her the doctor said "Your wife's mind has completely gone!"

To which the man replied, "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 30 years."

Related jokes: Wife jokes

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Fight jokes


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