An Elephant In The Apartment
One idiot to another:
- Would you like to buy an elephant for 100 bucks from me?
- Are you crazy? Where will I keep it? In my apartment?!
- What about 2 elephants for 100 bucks?
- That's a wholly different proposition!
A condo committee was screening a couple interested in renting an apartment:
"What kind of work do you do?" they were asked. "My husband is an engineer and I'm a school-teacher," the wife replied.
"Any children?" asked a committee member.
"Yes, 7 & 8 years old," the wife replied.
"Animals?" asked another committee member.
"Oh no! They're very well-behaved!"
Flies In The Apartment
A couple shared their apartment with a parakeet named “Nicky."
The exterminator was scheduled to come, so they put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: “Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies."
The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: “Finished all of the apartment except room with pet flies."
Customer: Do you have and cockroaches? Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman. Customer: I would like 20,000 of them. Clerk: What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches? Customer: I�m moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it.
Trying Life In Australia
There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes.'