Your 5 Jokes for February 09, 2014: Antibiotic Jokes

Bragging About Siblings

As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children talking about their siblings.

“My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one.

“My sister takes gymnastics," said another.

Not to be outdone, the youngest piped up, “My sister takes antibiotics."

Miracle Medicine

At a major medical convention, a noted internist arises to announce that he has discovered a new miracle antibiotic.

"What's it cure?" asks a member of the audience.

"Nothing we don't already have a drug for," the internist replies.

"Well, what's so miraculous about it?"

"One of the side effects is short-term memory loss. Several of my patients have paid my bill three or four times."

Natural Antibiotic

While serving as associate pastor in a church in the California gold country, I had an elderly gentlemen attend some of our Bible studies.

When he missed one week, I called to see if he was alright. He told me he had started to feel sick, but a friend had told him of a natural supplement that had helped him to get better right away. When I asked what it was, he said it was available at health food stores and was like a natural antibiotic.

I again asked what this wonder supplement was called and he said, (meaning Echinacea) "Euthanasia, I think."

Not Feeling Well

This woman wasn't feeling well, so she went to see the family doctor. After hearing her symptoms the doctor scheduled her for a complete physical. Days later she returned to get the results. The doctor tells her that everything came back normal.

He asks, "How's your appetite?"

She replied, "Great! I eat like a horse."

He then asks, "Do you sleep well?"

"About 8 hours a night," she said.

"How about your elimination?" he asks.

"Every morning about 7:20 AM" she replied.

The doctor thinks a minute then says, "There's something going on that I can't put my finger on. I'm going to give you an antibiotic and see if that will cure the problem."

These 3 germs inside are listening to all of this and one of them says, "What are we going to do?"

One says, "I think I'll hide in the liver."

A second one says, "I think I'll hide in a kidney."

The last one says, "You guys can stick around if you want to, but I'm taking the 7:20 out of here."

Super Antibiotics

A patient who has been suffering from a persistent bacterial infection for months, went back to his doctor.

While writing his prescription, the doctor said: "I'm going to give you one of those new super-antibiotics".

"Will this cure me, Doctor?" asked the patient.

"Not really, but you'll get even."


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