Your 5 Jokes for March 12, 2014: Adoption Jokes

It’s Never Late

It was my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary last week and they were telling me that they're starting to feel really old.

I told them that it's never too late in life to do things that you've always wanted to do.

So they've put me up for adoption.

Learning Russian

The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."

The Adopted Rabbit

An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviors on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to eschew jumping but rather to embrace running around like its step-siblings. As the rabbit grew up, however, it soon faced an identity crisis. It went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. It said how it felt different from its step-siblings, was unsure of its place in the universe, and was generally forlorn. Their response was,

"Don't scurry, be hoppy."

Telling An Important Thing

On his 16th birthday I thought my son deserved the truth about his being adopted.

As he came in from college, I said gravely "Tom. Do you mind sitting down, I've got something to tell you."

"Dad guess what?!" he exclaimed.

"Tom, this is important." I urged.

"No way dad listen!"

"Tom. Please. Don't make this hard for me. It's about your mum and me."

"Dad! Shut up! I've just won £250,000 on a scratch card!"

"That's amazing son! Your old Dad's really made up for you!"

Was I Adopted?

After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, Mark finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."


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