When I was giving driving classes to a bunch of teenager’s, I had one smart kid who always had something to answer back. So one day I said to the class, “you know that 90% of accidents happen within 3 miles of your home!" So this smart kid raises his hand, “what do you want Tommy?" I ask. He grins and replies, “big deal I’ll move!"
Half An Hour On The Phone
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!" said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
“Wrong number…" replied the girl.
"Oh, no!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene.
He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself.
He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.
In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!"
From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.
"It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "And for heaven's sake, clean up this room!"
A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the limit, the father asked his son why he thought Almighty God had given him two feet. Without hesitation, the son replied, “That’s easy, one for the clutch and one for the accelator."
What Kind Of Boyfriend?
"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children."