A man answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room doctor.
DOCTOR: Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost both arms and legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life.
The Police are looking for some additional domestic dogs which they want to train as police dogs. They advertise their need on TV and within days, people are bringing in dogs.
But then Joshua brings in his dog and the police officer on duty sees that it is a small Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
"But sir," says the police officer, trying hard not to laugh, "you really think this small dog can be a …..a police dog?"
"Oh yes," replies Joshua, "I thought it could operate as an undercover agent."
It's census time and the Levy's haven't yet returned their Census form. So a clerk from the council goes round to their house to remind them to do so. When the door opens, there stands 6 year old Sarah Levy. So the clerk says to her, "Hello little girl, is your father in?"
"No," says Sarah, "he's a doctor and he's carrying out an appendectomy operation at the hospital."
The clerk smiles and says, "Appendectomy - that's a very big word for a little girl. Do you know what it means?"
"Of course I do," replies Sarah, "I'm not stupid. It means £3,500 and it doesn't include the cost of my uncle, the anaesthetist."
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wakeup my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat."