5 Passengers And 4 Parachutes
An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Bill Clinton said, "I am President of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower, etc., " so he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane. The second passenger said, "I'm Antoine Walker, one of the best NBA Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to die," so he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane. The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the President of the United States, a soon to be New York Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world," so she takes the third parachute and exits the plane. The fourth passenger, Pope John Paul the second, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you take the last parachute." The boy scout said, "It's Ok, there's a parachute left for you. The world's smartest woman took my backpack."
A Very Good Man
Mr. Maxwell, the Founder/President of Maxwell House was recently killed in an unfortunate accident. Mr. Maxwell was an avid sky-diver and during a recent jump his parachute failed to open and he was killed on impact. His friends remember the fact that he was an INCREDIBLY pleasant, nice man before his fatal jump. And so on his tombstone they inscribed: ‘’Mr. Maxwell, good to the last drop.’’
While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window. "Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs. "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "Aren't those parachutes?" The pilot confirmed that they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?" "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
Two Brothers Skydiving
The brothers were compulsively competitive, constantly arguing about who was the better golfer, businessman, lover, fisherman - everything. One day they argued about who was better at folding and packing parachutes. "Only one way to settle this, Bill," Charlie said. "Let's go skydiving." Bill jumped first, pulled the cord and began to float gently to earth. Charlie followed, but when he pulled his cord, nothing happened. He yanked his safety cord, but that didn't work either. In a matter of seconds, Charlie flew past Bill. "Aha!" Bill shouted, ripping off his harness, "you want to race, huh?"
Do You Know Something About Parachutes?
A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!" The guy flying up looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"
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