5 Work Jokes

Get Me A Coffee

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee. On his very first day of work, he dials an extension and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool! You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No," replied the trainee. "I'm the CEO of the company!" The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to?!" "No." replied the CEO indignantly. "Good!" replied the trainee, who put down the phone.


My Own Field

A man went to see a careers advisor and told the lady:

- I wanted a job where I could be outstanding in my own field.

The lady had him fill out an application to be a scarecrow!


The Old Brass Lamp

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold drink right now," he told the genie. Poof! A soda appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, in a beautiful luxury residence surrounded by servants and food. Poof! He was on an island with servants and food all around him. "Oh man, this is the life", the guy thought. "I wish I never had to work again."

" And poof!. . . He was back at his desk in the government office!


The Pill

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

"Boss", he said, " The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"


Why I Am So Tired

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now, I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.

Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

This leaves 19 million to do the work.

Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.