Your 5 Jokes for April 25, 2012: Women Jokes

Items

A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


Married Men

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous ... or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."


Our

Wife: And another thing I want to tell you. I've noticed every time you talk, you say my house, my automobile, my chair, my shoes; everything's yours. You never say ours. I'm your partner. I'm your wife. It should be ours.

The husband paid no attention to his wife and just kept looking around the room for something.

Wife: What are you looking for?

Husband: Our pants!


The Gadget

After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding our cars in the crowded parking lot.

Just then my car horn beeped, and I was able to locate my vehicle easily.

“Wow,” the woman said. “I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car.”

“Actually,” I replied, “that gadget’s called ‘my husband.’”


Wrong Turns

Driving to a new restaurant, Jill took several wrong turns.

When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, “Why didn’t you tell me I was lost?”

“I thought you knew where you were going,” he replied. “You always know where you’re going when I’m driving.”