A poor man walks into a bar. Another man sat down 2 feet away from him, and pulled out a wad of $50s from his wallet. The poor man got an idea. He tells the rich man:
"I have a special talent. I bet you all the money in your wallet I can sing a song with any woman's name in it."
The rich man laughed. "Alright. How about my wife's name, Joanne Skyler Thomas?"
What does the poor man sing?
Answer: "Happy Birthday" It's a real song, and can have anyone's name in it. The poor man walks away rich. The rich man walks away poor.
Hands In The Mouth
A friend of mine went to the dentist recently. He commented that it must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.
He said: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."
Right And Wrong
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example," she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile he blurts out, “You’d be his wife!"
A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet. The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not compensate him for his services. "My fee for that work," acidly snapped the attorney, "is five hundred dollars."The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.
I was stopped on the street the other day, and was asked for change of a hundred. When I opened my wallet to take a look, a picture of my wife slipped out. He asked me, “why do you keep the picture right there?" I replied, “to remind me why there is no money left!"