Your 5 Jokes for April 23, 2012: Truth Jokes

Anything

A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad? Does a lawyer ever tell the truth?" The father thought for a moment. "Yes son," he replied, "Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."


Honest Friends

These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other.

As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, she remarked, “I’m fat.”

“No, you’re not,” the other scolded.

“My hair is awful.”

“It looks just fine.”

“I’ve never looked worse,” she whined.

“Yes, you have,” her friend replied.


I Cannot Believe …

A Romanian immigrant returns to Romania to visit his family left behind and as he walks out of the airport he thinks: "So many years, I cannot believe that I am back to Romania".

He puts his luggage down and starts dreaming with open eyes: "So many years and I still cannot believe that I am back home in Romania".

Then, as he looks down to take his bags, he cannot find his luggage anywhere...

Then, he shouts: "Cr*p! Now I believe it, I'm back in Romania!"


Russian Economy

"Putin calls in the finance minister and says: 'Listen, what's going on with the economy?'

"'Er, Vladimir Vladimirovich, I can explain. ...'

"'No, no, you don't need to explain. I can do that myself. Just tell me, what's going on?'"


Trust

Anwar was heard to moan in jail to his wife,' I've had a lot of trouble trusting Mahathir over these years. Whenever you see him rolling his eyes, he's telling the truth. Whenever you see him stroking his chin, he's telling the truth. Whenever you see him fiddling with his tie, he's telling the truth. So how do you know when he's lying?'

'When he opens his mouth,' came the reply from his wife.


Related collections:

Attorney jokes - Confession jokes - Court jokes - Defendant jokes - Honesty jokes - Judge jokes - Jury jokes - Justice jokes - Law jokes - Lawyer jokes - Trial jokes - Truth jokes - Unfaithfulness jokes - Witness jokes