Your 5 Jokes for April 22, 2013: Treatment Jokes

Jaundice

Mike is talking to her friend Sophie. "Do you remember I told you that my son David, the doctor, had been treating one of his patients for yellow jaundice for over ten years?"

"Yes, I remember," replies Sophie. "So? What's happened?"

"David told me yesterday that he's just found out that his patient is Chinese," replies Mike.

"Oh, really?" says Sophie, "that's terrible."

"And that's not all," says Mike. "David is sure that he has cured him."


Odds

"Doctor, What are my odds of getting better?" asked the worried patient. "All Good News, One hundred per cent Recovery!" replied the physician. "Medical records show that nine out of every ten die of the disease. Since, your's is the tenth case I've treated and the others all died. You're odds are that will get better and recover."


Pneumonia

“Doctor” said the patient, “are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I once heard
of a doctor treating someone with pneumonia -- and finally he died of typhus."

"Don't worry, that won't happen to me”, the doctor replied. “If I treat someone with
pneumonia he’ll die of pneumonia."


Podiatrist

I went to my podiatrist to have a bunion removed.When the treatment ended, I asked if another appointment would be necessary. He said,"No, but if you experience any discomfort, you should callous back."


Tranquilizers

Miriam is a mother who’s having serious problems with her young son Nathan. She’s in such a state that her doctor recommends she see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. He then writes out a letter for her to give to the psychiatrist.

Later that week, Miriam has her first appointment with the psychiatrist. After he spends an hour talking to her, he says, "You seem to be far too upset and worried about Nathan than you ought to be. So, Miriam, I’m going to give you a prescription for some tranquillizers. These are the very latest on the market. Start taking them regularly from today and I’ll see you again in a month’s time."

On her next visit, the psychiatrist asks, "So, Miriam, you look much more relaxed than the last time I saw you. Have the tranquilizers I gave you calmed you down?"

"Yes, doctor, the pills have been marvellous. I feel so carefree," replies Miriam.

"And how is Nathan behaving?" he asks.

"Who cares?" replies Miriam with a ‘shrug’ of her arms.