Your 5 Jokes for March 22, 2012: Town Jokes

Hippopotamus

A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere" The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal" was the reply.


New Town Dentist

When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However a local little girl called Gemima disputed his claim.

'He's a fake!' Gemima told her friends. 'He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him - and he screamed like anyone else.'


Three In One

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.

Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!”

Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!”

And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious.

He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”


Town Gossip

Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. However, she made a mistake when she recently accused Ted, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon.

Ted, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away without saying a word. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.


The Town Newspaper

The town of Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community newspaper. I asked one old-timer about it.

He replied, "We all know what everybody else is doing, but we like to read the paper anyway to see who's been caught at it."