5 Shoe Jokes

Buying Shoes

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. 'How do they feel?' asks the sales clerk.

'Well they feel a bit tight,' replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. 'Try pulling the tongue out,' the clerk says.

'Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.

Helping the Student

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? .

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet. .

He then announced, "These aren't my boots." .

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to do. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. .

He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." .

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She than mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots onto his feet again. .

She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" .

He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."

How Often Do You Wear Them?

This year I decided it was about time for me to get in shape and lose weight. I joined a gym and made an appointment with Walt, a personal trainer.

One day I found myself reclining self- consciously on a machine with my feet set to press on a weighted platform.

“Do you wear those shoes often?" Walt asked.

“They're my best running shoes!" I declared, dodging the question.

He scrutinized them closely, then asked, “Are those cobwebs on them?"

What’s The Pocket For?

Deciding to take up jogging, the man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk: "What is this little pocket thing here on the side for?" And the clerk: "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

Tying The Shoes

A three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left was on the right and the right was on the left. She said, "Paul, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her and said, "No they're not, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."