Your 5 Jokes for July 14, 2013: Sailor Jokes

Leave

At a popular docking port all the crew applied for leave except one. "What's the matter with you!" asked an officer. "Are you the only sailor who has no a wife in this port?" "No," replied the sailor, "I'm the only one who has."


The Huts

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church."


The Old Salt

"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."


Torpedo

The navy psychiatrist was interviewing a potential sailor.

To check on the young man''s response to trouble, the psychiatrist asked, "What would you do if you looked out of that window right now and saw a battleship coming down the street?"The baby sailor said, "I''d grab a torpedo & sink it." "Where would you get the torpedo?" "The same place you got your battleship!"


Where Did Your Father Die?

A merchant asked a sailor, "Where did your father die?"

"He drowned at sea."

"And your grandfather?"

"At sea too."

"Aren't you afraid of the sea?"

The sailor retorted, "Where did your father die?"

"In bed."

"And your grandfather?"

"In bed too."

"Aren't you afraid to go to bed every night where your father and grandfather died?"

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