Your 5 Jokes for December 23, 2013: Sadness Jokes

Drowning His Sorrows

The distressed-looking drunk man had downed several drinks in rapid succession before the bartender asked him, "You trying to drown your sorrows, buddy?"

"You could say that," the guy replied.

"It usually doesn't work, you know."

"No crap," the man moaned. "I can't even get my wife anywhere near the water!"


Let Me Know When You Feel Sad

When things go wrong,

When sadness fill your heart,

When tears flow in your eyes,

Just let me know,

Cause I want to be there for you,

I am selling tissues,buy one get one free


Standing Ovation

Albert Einstein gives a very important lecture to the scientific community on his ground-breaking theories on Quantum and Relativity. At the end of his spectacular talk, his audience give him a well deserved standing ovation. Albert Einstein then leaves the podium and makes his way back to his study. As he does this, one of his fellow professors notices that instead of having a very contented look on his face, Albert Einstein appears very gloomy. So he follows Albert Einstein to his study and says to him, "What a fantastic, brilliant speech, Albert. I have never heard anything finer. But why are you looking so down-in-the-mouth? What possible reason can you have for looking so unhappy?"
"Thank you my friend for thinking of me," replies Albert Einstein. "But I have reason enough to be sad. My wife doesn't understand me."


Sell My Belongings

One morning during breakfast, Rivkah notices that her husband Maurice is unusually quiet. So she asks him, "Oh Maurice, why the silence? Normally I can't get you to stop talking during breakfast."

"It's just hit me hard Rivkah," he replies, "that I'm 60 years old and no longer a young man. So I've been doing a lot of thinking."

"So tell me already," she asks, "what great conclusion have you come to?"

"Well for one thing," he replies, "if I were to die suddenly in the not-too-distant future, I'd want you to immediately sell all my belongings."

"That's a bit negative, isn't it Maurice?" replies Rivkah. "But in any case, why would you want me to sell all of your belongings?"

"Well I believe that not long after I die, you'd probably remarry. And I definitely don't want some fool using my things."

With a serious look on her face, Rivkah says, "So what makes you think that I would want to marry another fool?"


Wife In A Coma

After undergoing complicated brain surgery, Lena suddenly fell into a coma. The doctors tried very hard to resuscitate her but to no avail. As she lay unconscious in the intensive care unit, her husband Tom was ushered to her bedside.

One of the doctors said in a quiet somber voice, “She fell into a coma during the operation. I’m sorry but we did everything possible to revive her. The prognosis is not good. Unless she regains consciousness soon, we’re ruling out a quick recovery. It doesn’t look good I’m afraid.”

“Oh God,” said Tom in soft trembling voice as he gazed at his wife with pity and sadness and held her hand so tenderly. “I find this hard to accept. Lena’s so young to be this way. She’s only 45 years old, for Chrissakes.”

“37,” came the weak reply from Lena.