Your 5 Jokes for August 22, 2012: Play Jokes

I Used To …

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"


Playing With The Dog

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. “You need to make sure the dog runs around,” the doctor said. “Try playing a game of fetch.” “I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said. “Why not?” the doctor asked. “Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw.”


School

Two friends, Jenny and Florence were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Florence and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".

"OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent.


Strange Names

Mr and Mrs Smith had two sons. They were brothers, of course. One brother was called MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS and the other brother was called TROUBLE.

One day, the two brothers were playing hide and seek in the street and it was TROUBLE’s turn to hide. While MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS was counting to 100, TROUBLE ran down the street and hid inside a thick hedge.

Then MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS started looking for his brother. He looked behind some trees, he looked inside some cars parked in the street and he even looked under the cars, but he couldn’t find his brother. But when MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS started to look inside dustbins, a policeman saw him doing this and came over to have a word with him.

The policeman said, “And what, may I ask, are you doing little boy?”

And the boy replied, “Playing a game.”

The policeman then asked, “What’s your name?”

And the boy replied, “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.”

The Policeman got angry and said loudly, “Are you looking for trouble?”

And the boy replied, “Yes.”


Thoughts

A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?”

He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”

The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.”

“Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”

The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”