Your 5 Jokes for January 19, 2013: Partner Jokes

A Bone

One evening, Sven and his partner Kris were having dinner together to celebrate a recent business deal. They were having a great time when suddenly Sven began to find it hard to breathe.

He said, "Kris, help me, I tink I hev svallowed a bone."

"Are you choking, Sven?" said Kris.

"No, dem it - I’m being serious."

Former Partners

Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions.

Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes.

Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the business failed.

Weill and Mahoney blamed each other for the troubles, and they parted on unfriendly terms.

Five years later, Weill drove up to a decrepit diner and stopped for a cup of coffee. As he was wiping some crumbs from the table, a waiter approached.

Weill looked up and gasped. "Mahoney!" he said, shaking his head. "It's a terrible thing, seeing you working as a waiter in a place like this."

"Yeah," Mahoney said, curling his lip. "But I don't eat here."

Junior And Senior Partners

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately."

The Catch

A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy. "It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million." "Fabulous," says the guy by the pool.

"There's just one catch," his partner warns. "What's the catch?" "We have to put up ten thousand in cash".

You’ll Win

Nathan is talking to his solicitor. "Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business."

"OK," replies Abe, "but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts."

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, "So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?"

"Well," replies Abe, "from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case."

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

"What’s the matter?" asks Abe.

"I told you my partner’s side of the case," replies Nathan.