Your 5 Jokes for December 15, 2012: Operation Jokes

An Anesthetic

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.

Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"
The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."

"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."


Applause

A friend of mine had a liver transplant over in a Pittsburgh hospital. The day after the hospital the surgeon came in for a visit.

"How does your side feel," the surgeon asked.

"My side feels pretty good, but my throat really hurts."

"Let me see the dressing on your side," the surgeon said.

"But Doc, my throat. What's wrong with it?" asked my friend.

"Well, I might as well tell you." said the surgeon. "Yours was a special operation watched by many students in a big amphitheater. The two hour operation went perfectly. The students were so impressed they all stood up and applauded. The applause went on so long, I decided to take out your tonsils for an encore."


Appendix Operation

Jacob says to his doctor, "Doctor, my wife needs an appendix operation."

His doctor says, "But I took out your wife’s appendix only a year ago. I’ve never heard of a second appendix?"

Jacob replies, "Maybe doctor, but have you ever heard of a second wife?"


Ten Percent

Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.

Doctor: Don’t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.


The String

A team of surgeons was performing brain surgery on an Politician. They opened his skull and found only a piece of string running through the middle. Puzzled, they started a debate on what to do with it. Finally they decided to cut it in half. The Politician's ears fell off.