Your 5 Jokes for January 08, 2014: Medicine Jokes

Do Not Eat

A man called and asked his pharmacist, "My doctor ordered this prescription of ninety cholesterol pills for me. I got it filled at your pharmacy.

Now that I was reaching towards the end of bottle and a packet dropped out.

It instructed 'Do Not Eat'. Ma..n that was three days ago, can you tell me when should I start eating now again. I am starving."

For The Rest Of My Life

Casey came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife said, “What’s the problem?”

He said, “The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.”

She said, “So what? Lots of people have to take a pill every day their whole lives.”

“Yes, I know,” he said, “but he only gave me four pills!”

Swallowed Aspirin

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"Jane says "No.""Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor."No." says Jimmy's mom.The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"Again Jane says "No.""Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor."No." says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin...shouldn't I do something? "To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

The Patch

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

"Which one?", asked the doctor.

"The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"

The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see....Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

US President’s Daughter

Chelsea Clinton wasn't feeling well at her private school. She went to the infirmary to get some aspirin. The nurse discovered that nobody had ever signeda parental consent form to authorize the school to dispense medicine tothe First Kid.

The nurse told Chelsea that they needed to contact one of her parents for permission to give her aspirin. Chelsea told her, "Oh, please call Daddy. Mom's far too busy."