5 Laziness Jokes

Lazy Dog

While the train was waiting on a side track down in Georgia, one of the passengers walked over to a cabin near the track, in front of which sat a cracker dog, howling. The passenger asked a native why the dog was howling.

"Hookworm," said the native. "He's lazy."

"But," said the stranger, "I was not aware that the hookworm is painful."

"'Taint," responded the garrulous native.

"Why, then," the stranger queried, "should the dog howl?"

"Lazy."

"But why does laziness make him howl?"

"Wal," said the Georgian, "that blame fool dawg is sittin' on a sand-bur, an' he's too tarnation lazy to get off, so he jes' sets thar an' howls 'cause it hurts."


Ashes

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her mom and introduce her new Friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle.

When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously into the vase. "Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her New friend.

However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a gasp! ashes and broken vase scattering all around. After turning three
shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no... I'm, oh!... I, can't ... Didn't Mean to.."

"It's OK dear," the mother says. "The vase was just from Wal-Mart."

The new friend catches her breath enough to say, "But ... But your husband's' ashes..."

"Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get himself up and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!"


Ten Lazy Men

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change." I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up." Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man." Too much trouble," came the reply.


What A Shame!

“I’m ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job.

“My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I’m just so ashamed."

The husband rolled over on the couch. “You should be ashamed," he agreed. “Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent."


Lazy In Plain English

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."