Justice Has Triumphed
A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client. The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading "Justice has triumphed!"
The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"
A man was seriously injured in a car accident, severely damaging his legs. As soon as the emergency room doctor examined him, he knew the one of the man's legs must be amputated. He was taken to surgery, where, due to an administrative error, the good leg was amputated.
The mistake was discovered while the man was in the recovery room, so he was taken back into surgery and the bad leg also amputated.
When the man found out what had happened from a nurse who was present during the entire procedure, the man decided to sue the doctor and the hospital. He consulted the best attorney in town, who, after going over the man's claim, advised him against seeking damages.
"What," the man exclaimed, "this is the most clear cut case of outright negligence I have ever heard of."
"That may be true," the lawyer replied, "but frankly you don't have a leg to stand on."
When I was in highschool I was shocked when my uncle passed away so suddenly in his prime. I was telling my friend John, how hard it was that it happened so suddenly, when he tells me, “oh, my uncle knew exactly what day and what time he was going to die!!!" I ask, “wow, that’s so cool how did that happen?" He smirks and replies, " the judge told him!!!"
Waiting The Verdict
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
What Did She Say?
"Objection, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.
There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.
"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"
"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."
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