5 Jokes Jokes

Chow Hall Jokes

A reporter went in to a prison to report on conditions there. He was standing in the chow hall, next to a guard. All the prisoners were silently eating their grub.

All of a sudden one of the prisoners shouted “24!”. All of the other prisoners started to laugh.

A minute later another prisoner shouted “77!”. Once again, the other prisoners laughed.

The reporter was a little puzzled by this, so he asked the guard about it.

The guard explained that it was against the rules to tell jokes in the chow hall. So, the prisoners assigned numbers to all the jokes they knew. When someone shouted a number, everyone would be reminded of the joke, and laugh.

The reporter thought that was pretty cool, so he decided to try it out for himself.

“37!”, he shouted.

Silence. Blank stares.

“Some people just can’t tell a joke”, said the guard.

Another prisoner then shouted “89!”

The guard busted out in laughter. His eyes started to water, and he turned red from laughing so hard.

The reporter asked him what was so funny.

“I’ve never heard that one before!” said the guard.

The Boss's Jokes

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. 'What's the matter?' grumbled the boss. 'Haven't you got a sense of humor?' 'I don't have to laugh,' she replied. 'I'm leaving Friday.'

The Deal

So one day, all of the animals came together and made the following deal: Each will tell a joke, and if everyone doesn't laugh at it then they would kill the joke teller.

So the Rabbit went first. The Rabbit told this great joke. All of the animals were laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor and slapping their knees (if they had knees). All that is except for the Hippopotamus.

So, what could they do... the Hippo did not laugh. They had to kill the Rabbit. After promptly doing so, they gave the next turn to the lion.

The Lion told a really dumb joke, that was not funny at all. All of the animals just sat there and stared, but the Hippo started laughing a tremendous laugh. The animals asked the Hippopotamus: "Why are you laughing? The Joke wasn't funny." To which the Hippo replied: "Didn't you get the Rabbit's Joke?"

The Jokes Fun Club

A jokes fun club. All the jokes are catalogued and the old members know their numbers. An old member says:
- Five!
All laugh. Another member:
- Twenty four!
General laugh. A newbie, first time in one session, saw that's enough tell the number of a joke, decides to try:
- Sixteen!
Absolute silence. Nobody laugh. One of the old members tells him:
- Colleague, doesn’t matter the joke, it’s important to tell it well.

The Judge's Joke

Judge in a Moscow courthouse entered the judge’s chambers laughing his head off.
‘What is so funny?’ his colleagues enquired.
‘I just heard a terrific joke.’
‘Let us hear it.’
‘I can’t, for that joke I just sentenced the accused to three years.’