Due to inherit a furniture factory when his sickly, widower father died, Clyde decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a cafe, he met a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm only an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "But in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit a 20 million dollar business."
The woman went home with Clyde, and the next day she became his stepmother.
How Did You Become Rich?
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
My Cousin Dan
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."
The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you are wrong. Hi Dan!"
The Old Professor poses the following problem to one of his classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his daughter, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?"
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Pauly raises his hand and says, “A lawyer?"
Married for many years, Paul had been ignored by his wife, Liz, for some days, so eventually he confronted her with what he perceived as the problem.
'Come on Liz, admit it,' he ranted, 'You only married me because my granddad left me $6 million, didn't you?'
'You really are silly, Paul,' retorted Liz loudly, 'I couldn't care less who left it to you.'