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Your 5 Jokes for February 20, 2012: Heart Jokes

Heart Transplant

While working at an auto mechanic shop, we had a co-worker that was on waiting list for a heart transplant. One day the phone rang and the girl up front answered. It was the hospital with good news. “Sam," she yelled. “Your parts are in!"


Income-Tax Inspector

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"

"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."


Medical Language

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."


No Problem

Josh phoned his heart surgeon to schedule an appointment for an immediate surgery."I’m sorry," the receptionist answered, “we don’t have anything available for the next three weeks.""But I could die by then!""No problem, just call before to cancel the appointment."


The Lawyer’s Heart

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.

The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane. The third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years."

“I’ll take the lawyer’s heart," said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did.

“It was easy," the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used."


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Disease jokes
Doctor jokes
Hospital jokes
Medical jokes
Nurse jokes
Patient jokes
Pharmacy jokes
Surgeon jokes
Surgery jokes